Once there was a teeny bopper
who was deeply in-loved with the Irish
Boyband Westlife. She would switch TV channels
to record the date, the TV program and the number of times she watched the favorite band’s music videos. Sometimes she would exchange non-sense fights with her brother because the latter would always devour with cartoons. The prince of peace and love, annoyed by the scenario of petty quarrels, took away the cause of the siblings’ war. The teeny bopper’s TV screen went blank leaving the children in the care of the huge black Karaoke. Growing up became hard for teeny bopper. While all her classmates would have blast discussing their favorite TV programs, she would end up eavesdropping, contenting herself to the pleasure of listening.
The scribbled children’s story above (which needs more creativity) is the comic version of how I and my brother managed living life without a television set (for almost six years) and how listening to the old family karaoke brought me closer to my true love…
If my Life were a book, it would be a paperback, coffee table book entitled … and the Prince was with Me. I could see that it would be a big hit since people of my age are very much engrossed with love stories. I met my prince late in December, 2004 just two years after I lost grip of the TV set. Never in my dreams did I realize that someone like him would give me total ecstasy I couldn’t explain. I was having doubt with myself during those days when he came. This was because I was fed up of the pressure my “high school friends “were
putting on my shoulders. (But up to now, we are still friends, just to clarify.) There were times I would feel so inferior that I just would want to dissolve somewhere in the air. . .
Graduating with flying colors was such a fulfilling experience (the
congratulations of everyone, the people’s acceptance, the smile of you parents and relatives and of course, the popularity!) yet is heartbreaking and emotionally bagging especially when they would expect a lot from you. I was really hurt when I did not reach the quota of the course I applied for in UP. (I cried a lot, glasses of water pls…) But life must go on so I enrolled in a nearby university which my friends would always say was a wrong move. Why would I settle for a second class university when I can go far?-This, they would always exclaim. “Sayang naman daw ang utak ko.”
Yes, they were after my future (for the name of the university matters when you apply for a job) but unknowingly, they were deepening the bruise I had- the self pity and the hurt ego of being not the best. I was little by little losing self confidence and was
building the tower of resentment for failing. I eventually hated myself and was only studying to maintain my scholarship. I was no longer happy. There was this emptiness and loneliness deep in my heart.
Before that December night, the Karaoke was nothing but a mere source of entertainment. I became addicted with afternoon dramas and music countdowns of FM stations. I would debate with the announcers and discuss with them political and social issues. Once in a while, I would tune in to 702 DZAS, a Christian station that was introduced to me by my grandma and which I used to listen to when I was still a
child. They broadcast infinite sermons and preaching – God is good, God is love. (All those I have known since then.) But there was this particular sermon that was exceptionally powerful, Jesus was indeed talking to me- I found myself bending my knees, forgiving myself, accepting Christ as my savior and being totally renewed. The
tears were overflowing as I lifted my life to Him and yes, there was unexplainable joy.
The seed that was planted on me when I was still a child grew. I come to realize that knowing Jesus, believing in Jesus and accepting Jesus as my savior are three different things.
I have known Jesus since I was four, being raised by a Protestant father and a Catholic mother. I remember my dad would lead the family in prayers while my mom would always bring me in pabasas. From there, I learned that Jesus is the son of God who came to Earth to save the world.
Almost a Christian
I have believed in Jesus’ power and providence since I attended my Sunday school. Never did Jesus fail my prayers. When I asked for chocolates, my tita would always bring some; when I wanted to win quiz bees, I would win. There are a number of answered prayers and blessings that I could list (and writing them down would be a
book itself) but the greatest of all that Jesus did, is healing my ear from infection which the doctor said, would be needing a major operation. After a year of medication, the infection was gone for good.
In the Arms of the Prince…
I have accepted Jesus as my savior just three years ago. (if only I could turn back time and accepted Jesus earlier, I would). Everything has significantly changed. I become more aware of people’s needs, braver and stronger in facing life’s rocks, and more patient in waiting for unfulfilled dreams… I entrusted my life to Him.
Jesus Christ is the prince who was with me the day that I was born, the moment I brought myself back and in other minuet details of my life. He took away the TV set and used the huge black karaoke that I may find the road back to Him. And for Him this poem I dedicate:
The road seems wide all the while
But looking back I could see
The lonely, empty life I had without You.
And every time I try to find
The joy in people’s arms,
I’m still searching
Meeting her one and only true love, the teeny bopper has realized the meaning of her life. Life is more than watching Westlife’s music videos and winning over her brother. She still likes Westlife and tries to catch their videos once in a while but the
cause of her joy now is upon knowing that her true love would not abandon her no matter what.-ERR